Saturday, January 15, 2011

City Sound-Bites

Overheard in NYC
Drug and Drunk Edition
Black Woman: How do you get so fucked up on wine?
Black Security Officer: I drink that shit like it's Kool-Aid!
-F Train
College Student: I don't think I could get high enough to eat that much cream cheese.
-N Train
Yuppie giving panhandler some change: Don't do drugs.
Pandhandler: Where am I going to buy drugs for a quarter?
-105th and Broadway
Middle Eastern Man to clerk at sex shop: You have the most beautiful eyes in Manhattan.
Register Girl: Um, thanks.
Middle Eastern Man: You look like European girl.
Register Girl: I get that a lot.
Middle Eastern Man: Let's go out for a drink tonight.
Register Girl: No.
Middle Eastern Man: Okay, thanks!
-Sex Shop, 5th Ave
Drunken skinny pretty girl: Why is she so mean? I mean, I'm a pretty skinny girl. She should not be mean to me!
-Halloween Party, Tribeca
Drunken Hobo to girl leaving Sephora: Let me tell ya how to look beautiful. Fill ya buckets with money. Bucketfulla money makes ya look beautiful.
-17th St
Elegantly dressed woman: I don't remember what happened last night, but I feel like I need to plant a tree or something to make up for it.
Attractive friend: What does that even mean?
Eleganatly dressed woman: I don't know.
Attractive friend: I drank so much......I killed a tree?
-A Train
Girl: Are you lost?
Guy: No, I just smell weed.
-10th & 5th
Guy at ATM to friend: The $60 fast-cash button should just be labeled "8th of weed."
-Chase Bank, Astor Place

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