Thursday, September 23, 2010

Amazing (NOT photoshopped) Photo of the Day

Marina Bay Sands Hotel - Singapore

Photoshopped? Two postcards stuck together? Nope, just a guy swimming near the edge of a pool on top of a skyscraper. It's the Skypark at the Marina Bay Sands Hotel, and it's 55 stories (or 600 feet) above ground level. Keeping Michael Phelps from splattering on the sidewalk are two design features of the pool - there is a lip under the water level, and a gutter over the side, which catches both water splashes and drunk swimmers. Still, I hope they don't book any bachelor parties.....


Monday, September 20, 2010

The Ralph Lauren Prototype Bicycle

Sweet Product of the Day

These bikes, not yet in production, were conceived in collaboration with Affinity Cycles. If I'd look THAT hot, maybe I'd even reteach mySELF to ride.


Saturday, September 18, 2010

Cheeseburger in a Can

Questionable Food Item of the Day
The cheese-burger

Yeah, you saw correctly - a cheeseburger in a can. Cheese, mystery-meat patty, lettuce, onion, pickles, tomato and a bun! It can be with you anywhere you go - at school, work, camp, at a bonfire, on the kitchen table, even the moon! All you need is a pot of boiling water and your body will be thanking you for all the home-grown, healthy deliciousness you just chewed into it. Suggested beverage? How about a vat of high-fructose corn syrup? In a can, of course.

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

City Sound-Bites

Recently Heard in the City

Girl walking up stairs, suddenly turning around: Oh, nuh-uh! Get your forehead out of my ass!

--F Train

Overweight middle aged Southern tourist pointing to approaching train: Where is this train going?

Semi-annoyed girl: Queens.

Tourist: Yeah, but where is that?

Quite-a-bit-annoyed girl: Queens.
Tourist: Yeah, but where is that?

Deflated girl: It's... Never mind.

--1 Train

Street hawker: You guys going up in the Empire State Building? Need tickets?

Tourist: What is it?

--34th St & 5th Ave

British white guy with dreads: Where are we?

Girl: 34th Street.

British white guy with dreads: 34th Street? Isn't that where that miracle happened?

--34th St

20-something girl: And then she chloroformed me. (pause) I said that too loud.

--Penn Station

Ghetto-fabulous girl standing at crosswalk while cars whiz by: Why ain't we crossin'? (friend points to cars)

Girl: Oh.

--Penn Station

Middle-aged daughter: You have my permission to not talk to me for the rest of the day.

Ninety-year-old mother: Why the hell would I want to talk to you anyway?

--R Train

Little girl: Do you like girls?

Little boy: No.

Little girl: Do you like boys?

Little boy: No.

Little girl: Do you like me?

Little boy: No.

Little girl: Do you like cats?

Little boy: No.

Little girl: Do you like girls?

--Wilson & Troutman, Bushwick

Man to another, across seat: Get up! Get up, fool. Yo' momma don't love you! And if yo' momma don't love you, don't nobody love you!

--E Train

Girl on cell: Listen, Alice, I just wanted to call and tell you that I am really, really sorry about the pop-tarts.

--High School, Queens

Guy going superfast on a bike with eyes closed and feet on handlebars: Oh, man, I'm trippin'! Oh, god, I'm shroomin'!

--Delancey St

Monday, September 13, 2010

Fetus Cookie Cutter

Questionable Product of the Day

Fetus Cookie Cutter? What's disturbing is not that this product was conceived and produced, but that there are 7 Ratings for it. Seriously?

Thursday, September 9, 2010

Dumbass of the Day

Drunk Man Arrested Trying to Revive Opposum Roadkill

A man has been arrested after police discovered him drunk on the side of the highway alledgedly trying to revive a dead opposum. Police say 55-year old Donald Wolfe was desperately trying to save the dead animal after a looooooong night of drinking. It was not clear whether or not he had been driving intoxicated and hit the opposum, or how it was he was attempting to ressurect it, but there were several witnesses.

Several witnesses but not ONE camera-phone shot of this? FAIL.

Saturday, September 4, 2010

City Sound-Bites

Sex and Drugs Edition

Girl: You're leaving?

Guy: Yeah, I have to go watch the game with my dealer.

--West Village

Med student: I wish you were straight, so I could have sex with you right now.

Flamboyant friend, sighing: I'm not in the mood.

--Columbia University

Girl on cell: I don't need anything else. I've got 20 dollars, my phone, and a condom.

--11th & 3rd Ave

Flamboyant boy on cell: Wait, where are you? What are you doing? Please tell me you'll wear a condom. (pause, then boy's face grows increasingly horrified) Several condoms.

--Dining Hall, NYU

Disheveled gentleman: Hey, man, can you spare some change? I need a bottle of vodka, a bag of marijuana, and a prostitute. I'm desperate!

--East Village

Toothless lady on street corner to friend: I ain't never been to jail, I ain't never fucked nobody for money!


Guy on cell: I wish I was in Florida--the hookers down there owe me 8 bucks and a beer!


Bag lady: I'm not selling ass, just panhandling. It's too cold.

--9th Ave & 25th St

Seven-year-old boy to father: Did you know that when you get into middle school, all the girls care about is whether you're rich and have a cute ass? In elementary school, they only care about if you can run fast. If you run the fastest, you get all the girls.

--Flushing, Queens

Wide-eyed woman on cell: Is it the drugs that are doing this to me?

--St Mark's & Ave A

Girl selling Obama condoms: Buy Obama condoms, they are cheaper than a baby and easier to push than a stroller.

Mom pushing stroller: You're two years too late.

--44th & 7th

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Classic Toy of the Day

The Satiny Parachute!

You knew it was going to be either a really Good or really Bad Gym Day when the teacher whipped out the parachute. When this thing didn't float like a butterfly, it was one of the more pointless activities I can remember doing in gym....but when it worked, those were some GoodTimes! What made it work? From what I remember, one of the things that helped was not having ALL 26 members of the class grabbing on a section...those loops were there for a reason. Another thing that helped was not having all of the uncoordinated elementary school dumb-asses in your class. You remember them, the ones who just went up-down-up-down as fast as they could, as if they themselves were going to take flight. Also, generally speaking, parachutes without gaping holes worked better than those with. When synchronicity DID occur, however, your options were limitless.....throw in a bouncy ball, a doll, someone else's lunch box, a skinny person, and watch it launch... take turns running under it to see if you can make the other side before your satin burial...and, let's not forget, that lovely little "Whoosh" sound which effectively wiped out your teacher's voice. I miss my old fake Nike blue-and-whites.

How To Draw Lesson of the Day

Wednesday, September 1, 2010