City Sound-Bites

Recently Heard in the City

Girl walking up stairs, suddenly turning around: Oh, nuh-uh! Get your forehead out of my ass!

--F Train

Overweight middle aged Southern tourist pointing to approaching train: Where is this train going?

Semi-annoyed girl: Queens.

Tourist: Yeah, but where is that?

Quite-a-bit-annoyed girl: Queens.

Tourist: Yeah, but where is that?

Deflated girl: It's... Never mind.

--1 Train

Street hawker: You guys going up in the Empire State Building? Need tickets?

Tourist: What is it?

--34th St & 5th Ave

British white guy with dreads: Where are we?

Girl: 34th Street.

British white guy with dreads: 34th Street? Isn't that where that miracle happened?

--34th St

20-something girl: And then she chloroformed me. (pause) I said that too loud.

--Penn Station

Ghetto-fabulous girl standing at crosswalk while cars whiz by: Why ain't we crossin'? (friend points to cars)

Girl: Oh.

--Penn Station

Middle-aged daughter: You have my permission to not talk to me for the rest of the day.

Ninety-year-old mother: Why the hell would I want to talk to you anyway?

--R Train

Little girl: Do you like girls?

Little boy: No.

Little girl: Do you like boys?

Little boy: No.

Little girl: Do you like me?

Little boy: No.

Little girl: Do you like cats?

Little boy: No.

Little girl: Do you like girls?

--Wilson & Troutman, Bushwick

Man to another, across seat: Get up! Get up, fool. Yo' momma don't love you! And if yo' momma don't love you, don't nobody love you!

--E Train

Girl on cell: Listen, Alice, I just wanted to call and tell you that I am really, really sorry about the pop-tarts.

--High School, Queens

Guy going superfast on a bike with eyes closed and feet on handlebars: Oh, man, I'm trippin'! Oh, god, I'm shroomin'!

--Delancey St