Whiny Tween: Daddy, I just got hit in the eye.
Yuppie Dad: Oh! You did? Who hit you in the eye?
Whiny Tween: Mommy did.
Mother to Small Child: If you eat two pieces of chicken, I'll give you a raisin.
-College Point Shopping Center
Father: You know I like ketchup on my hot dog.
Daughter: I do.
Father: Then why didn't you get me ketchup?
Daughter: Because I don't care for you.
Man to seven-year-old daughter: Hold onto the rail so you don't fall. Because if you do fall we're all going to laugh. We're gonna laugh so hard we'll shit our pants.
Little Girl with accent, pointing to a picture of a hot dog: Do you like dog?
Little Girl: Why? Because it's a dog?
Mother of eight-year-old: I don't mind that my son is so into zombies, Jesus was a zombie technically. After all, it's a healthy way for him to find our religion.
Mother of ten-year-old: I never thought about it that way. (To son) - Joseph? Do you like zombies?
Mother, walking with two daughters: So what should we do now?
Little Girl #1: Let's trip old people.
Little Girl #2: I call mommy!
Kid on subway: Mom! That's a mad big window!
Mom: Honey? That's not proper English. You say: "That window is mad big."
Five-year-old girl: My favorite part of the movie was the naked man!
Mother: Mine too mama!
Five-year-old girl: Naked maaaaaaaaan!
Father: Make her stop.
-Park Ave and 25th Street
Boy in car: Where are we going?
Boy, pointing at the first store he sees on the street: Let's go to Dress Barn!