Friday, November 26, 2010

City Sound-Bites

Recently Overheard in the City

Senior Edition

Old Jewish Lady #1: Maybe today we should go to Flashdancers.

Old Jewish Lady #2: Oh yes, yes...I could look at some ta-tas!

--70th & 3rd

Old lady to friend: You know who I feel sorry for? Yoko Ono.

--Central Park West

Old hippie, after Further show: Wow! I didn't know what to expect, but I didn't expect that!

Wife: I thought that after Jerry died, it was all over!

Old hippie: Man, I swear, there were times I'd look up and I swear I saw Jerry on the stage!

Wife: His spirit!

Old hippie: How much spirit can you have to leave so much spirit behind?!

--MCU Park, Brooklyn

Grandma: What's wrong, honey?

8 yr-old boy: I'm done, you're all in my face, I'm dehydrated, and I'm going home.

Grandma: Well, we can get you a water.

8 yr-old boy: I don't want to hear it, grandma!

--5th Ave and 47th St

Old lady covered in baby powder: Give me six donuts.

Donut clerk: Okay, which ones?

Old lady: Six donuts.

Donut clerk: These are all donuts....Which ones?

Old lady: Six donuts.

Donut clerk: Okay, I'll just give you a selection of six (starts putting donuts in bag).

Old lady: Six donuts, don't trick me!

--Flatbush, Brooklyn

Elderly History Professor: I'm not sure of the consequences of what I'm saying, but I'm sure it's terribly important.

--Pratt Institute

Older man, to ticket salesman: Are Precious and The Rocky Horror Picture Show a double feature?

--Clearview Cinema, Chelsea

Old man: This is important street.

Old woman: It's Broadway.

--Broadway and 54th

60-something overweight bald man #1, during game, watching Kristin Chenowith on giant screen: Extensions.

60-something overweight bald man #2: Totally.

--Yankee Stadium

Little kid: Grandma, I want a dollar.

Ghetto grandma: Nigga, we had to work to get money, sometimes we would get beat.

Little kid: Can I get my dollar now?

--The Bronx


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