Recently Heard in the City
Older woman on cell, screaming: There are no leaves on the floor. No! No fucking leaves on the floor. The fucking leaves are green and still in the trees. Did you hear me?
--7th Ave & W 18th
Four-year-old boy to father, at 17th century furniture room: This place gives me the creeps!
--Metropolitan Museum of Art
Boy to another: He said he had to go and get a colon autopsy!
--84th & 3rd
Girl #1: You're making me very mad.
Boy: Well, you're making me very sad.
Girl #2: Both of you shut the fuck up right now.
--Bard High School, Queens
Girl #1: Do you have any Vicodin?
Girl #2: Yes, but I am not sharing with you, because you would not give me any Valium when I asked.
Girl #1: Okay, here are the Vals, now give me the Vicodin.
Girl #2: Hey, don't take them with wine. Check the warning "alcohol may increase the effect."
Girl #1: Oh, I thought that was a serving suggestion.
--Iggy Pop Lecture, Times Center