Thursday, July 22, 2010

City Sound-Bites

Recently Heard in the City

Mom #1: Wow, it is such a beautiful day out. I really wish there was a park around here.

Mom #2: Yeah, they should get on that.

--83rd St & Madison Ave

Girl #1: So what's your background? What nationalities are you?

Girl #2: Oh, I'm just American. I'm Jewish, though.

--Chelsea Market

Blonde: There were three of them; they were twins.

--Lunasa Bar, East Village

Bimbette #1: Oh my god! I just realized my brother and I have the same last name!
Bimbette #2: Really?
Bimbette #1: Yeah, it never hit me before.

--BX10 Bus

Frazzled mother to young child: Hurry. Hurry. Look, the monster is going to get you if you don't walk faster!

--Queens Mall

Instructor: Those people outside are crazy, wearing big ol' leather boots in this kind of heat!

Student: Maybe they're from Texas?

Instructor: Nah, they looked pretty American to me.

--Beauty School, 35th & 8th

Husband in theater: Water? I never touch the stuff. Fish fuck in it.

Wife, looking around, embarrassed: Go on, honey. Have another beer.

--Shakespeare in the Park, Delacourte Theatre

Male NYU student: Yay, my mom's picking me up!


Sobbing five-year-old girl to mom in CD section: I wanna download, I don't wanna waste my money.

--Borders, Columbus Circle

Barista to client: Today is the first day of summer, so it's the longest day of the year!

Client: Oh, yeah, how long is it exactly? Cashier: I dunno, like 27 hours or something.


Frantic woman: Excuse me, is this the train to Manhattan?

--Penn Station


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